Why do people think that “I’m sorry” fixes everything? Like do they actually think that saying those 2 little words will erase anything that was done. If I could get $1 for every time that someone did something to me and tried to erase it with an “I’m sorry” I would never have to work again.
The amount of times that I have heard that are ridiculous. And guess what? After all of those “I’m sorrys” I am still sitting here hurt. Physically, mentally, or whatever was damaged is still there. I just don’t get it. Instead of saying “i’m sorry” just don’t do the action that provoked this apology. How hard is it NOT to hurt someone that you love? I don’t know. Maybe I have a different way of thinking.
I wonder if it’s my condition that makes me this way. I can not get over damage with those words. To me those words are said, heartfelt or not, but then you turn around and BAM, you’re hurt again. And then another “i’m Sorry” It is a vicious cycle. Then the thought comes, well the I’m sorrys can not really mean anything, because another storm is coming. I wish those words were never invented. And people just had to stand up and be accounted for their mistakes.
Of course I sit here and relive whatever it was that caused the apology in my head. Because I can’t let it go, I’m not Elsa, I can’t turn things into ice. I can not just get over things and forget that they happened. I will keep it in my head and it will eat away at me.
I can not explain that nor admit it to anyone face to face. I can not and never will use my mental condition as an excuse to act a certain way. I will just shut down and keep it to myself. The pain will eat away at me, and eventually it will be added to the vault of horror(my secret hiding place for all my pain) and will come out when the thoughts break the vault open.
So no, I’m sorry is just 2 words. 2 words that can be said by anyone, at anytime, for anything. It needs to be understood that these are words. That is it words. An I’m sorry isn’t shit if the I’m sorry isn’t followed by I’m sorry actions.