I Know Others Have It Worse

But I can’t help sitting here thinking that this is the worse I have been mentally. I am so fucking sad, i don’t know what to do. I am so alone, I am so sad, I am so unhappy, I want to give up. I cant of course, but I want to. I don’t have anyone. At home, alone. At work, alone. When it comes to friends, alone. In my relationship, alone. With family, alone. No one ever asks how I’m doing, no one ever listens when I need them to. I don’t have one single person that I can call and that will be there for me, with a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to listen to. The only time that I get spoken to is when someone wants something. Everyone acts like everything is just fine with me. No one takes the time to listen or to try to understand.  When I make jokes, everyone responds. When people see that something is wrong, I get ignored. When I do try to open up, it is like I am bothering whoever I am talking to. Then when I do tell anyone that I want to go out, the first thing that I get is “You better not be crabby”. They just don’t get that I have no control over this! Do they think that if I really had a choice, that this is how I would be?

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